Be Selfish.
Yup, I just said that. Let me take the time to explain!Last week after my Jillian Michaels kick-butt workout, her cooldown preach buzzed in my ears throughout the weekend.
Have you ever sat down for a moment and thought about the relationship you had with you?
It’s so easy to deprioritize if not neglect ourselves. With so much going on day-in and out, it's so easy to ignore ourselves, put our needs last.
When and IF we finally take the time for ourselves, you feel selfish. Which funny enough, when you think about it, the one person you spend the rest of your life with is you.
Yet, why do our needs and well-being always take the back seat? Think about it, if you’re not 100% , how ever will you bring your A-Game?
It’s safe to say, the most important relationship you should take time to nurture is the person staring back at you in that mirror.
"Life is hard enough. You got to be good to yourself. Think about how great you are to your friends, family your kids, your loved ones even your co-workers. How you compliment them. Give them mad props; tell them how good they’re doing. When do you do that for yourself? When do you take that time to be good to yourself like that? The answer is right now...” ~Jillian Micheals
While I admit I’m still very much a work in progress, but after reading quite a bit, I thought it’d be nice to share what I’ve learned; thus far.
Here are 3 of the many ways out there, you can start building a relationship with you.
Forgive Yourself
I started with this as I think the one thing most of us are guilty of is being toughest on ourselves.
Why are we quick to forgive others, but struggle to do the same for ourselves? Something to ponder upon, isn’t it?
The relationship we build with ourselves is the foundation to building relationships with people and our environment.
Often we forget one of the things that make us human is we make mistakes. And that’s OK. Accept that you can’t always be right.
Take each mistake as a way to learn and reflect and move forward.
Be kind to yourself recognize the difference between moving forward and learning versus harping and beating yourself up.
Remember, forgiveness is an act of self-love. It’s not about the mistake; instead forgiveness is a promise we make to ourselves to get better.
“In your whole life, nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself. And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else. ~ Srinivas Rao, Unmistakable Creative
Self-Care
Self-care is about prioritizing yourself, and it looks different for everyone. For some, it’s a dip in the pool or a meditation or even blasting some heavy metal music like GWAR!
For me, it’s either my run (which I fail to do in the cold) or a 30-minute workout. This is just something I put aside for me no matter how busy I get throughout the day. This is the me-time that I spend on myself.
Believe it or not, sometimes I even put time aside to make a list of things I need to do as it helps me alleviate my stress seeing my tasks listed. That feeling of ticking off things is sometimes like a breath of fresh air!
Self-care just means do something with you in mind. It’s about being present for you.
Only then, you will able to be the best version of yourself. By being selfish, you can be selfless all at once.
“If you’re not taking care of your own well being, it’s hard to put your best foot forward for others. Making yourself the #1 priority in your life more selfless than selfish. When you show up as a better version of yourself everyone wins.”~Srinivas Rao, Unmistakable Creative
Be Your Own Cheerleader
I explained the importance of positivity nicely in a blog post about mental toughness.
I know, I know positive thinking is an overrated topic.
But each time you make a mistake approach yourself with the same kindness you have for someone else.
I can think of many times just today where I’ve thought to myself “Damn, Radhika, you’re such an idiot! You should have done…”
And that my friends is, negativity breeding down my neck.
That reaction molds self-doubt. I should instead focus on channeling my energy on self-improvement.
I mentioned this in my last post how I tend to cheer myself through my runs. Sometimes I don’t meet my target, and it’s so hard to not shout internally “Radhika, you suck! You failure!!!" each time.
But I’ve learned to tell myself “Get it next time!” And looking at why I hadn't met my goal to begin with.
The valuable lesson here is to know the difference between being constructively critical is and self-critical to the point it derails your development.
“The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.”~ Diane Von Furstenberg
A lot of us subconsciously neglect our own well-being.
It’s just how we have been programmed as children. By reprogramming ourselves to be “selfish” and focus on prioritizing our needs, we can authentically put our best foot forward each time.
Being selfish will also make us better at caring for ourselves and others without the pretense of resentment lingering at the back.
Your turn: How do you build a relationship with yourself?
Hashtag #SaltPepperandEverythingBetween when you share on your social networks!
This article is not a substitute for medical advice. Always check with your doctor before starting a new fitness routine.
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